~~..SpiceUpYourLife..~~

on 5 febuary 2010,its an historical day for me actually..for the 1st time,i will be officially being a wedding photographer..its all been prepare for that,I've learn all the angle,compo and all the technique that i can cover for the job..with the support i got from 'her',i feel i can do this..but how terrified and shocky i am..she made one of the biggest decision on that day that make my world turn upside down until now...i suddenly become so numb and dont know what to do..its like a nightmare but its not a dream,its reality...

so what i can do left where i just have one day left before akad nikah..i went to muar wiht a fren of mine..he finds me strage but im acting my cool but i cant hide it coz it so obviously i was not in the mood..on that friday,i was loosing myself already,aku dah mcm cacing kepanasan duk kat umah pengantin,mak andam plak dah laaa lmbat,member aku plak gi carik flash sbb rosak..so aku duk sorang2 je kat situ..adeyhhhhh..

but suddenly the bride said, why dont u pick her up and bring her here also,without hesitate,i pick my fren car and pick her up..well she's not too far a way from the bride house but where? i cant tell lahhhhh..hehehe,for some of u might know where she is...

so to make it short,she come to both of the akad nikah and sanding...well i know she's there but the feelings is just not therelah..we know we are not couple anymore and her appearance sumhow i feel likes a sympathy or a supprt from her..but my head just cant think straight..therefore,i lose my work ethic and professionalism..

seriusly,i fail being an OP (official photographer)...i fail to captured a good pic, i fail to conduct situation and the environment, i failed to cheer up the bride where they looks so exhausted already..when im thinking back,im likely just enjoying myself with her without focusing on the bride so much where i should done it that at the 1st place..how stupid n foolish i am..im fail to be a good photog..my head is only about her and about us, but nothing bout photog on that day..wish i can do better?well of coz i did....*sigh *sigh *sigh..

to be continued...